Entry #1
I’m no stranger to writing, yet this feels different. Awkward, exposed, vulnerable.
First and foremost. Everything I do is dedicated to my father, mother and daughter, for without them I would truly be lost.
For the rest of the people who think they deserve some kind of recognition, they do not. In this regard there have been many people who have come in and out of my life. Acquaintances, friends, colleagues, enemies, lovers. Some still exist to this day.
To whatever degree all these individuals have shaped me into the person I am. For those who would rebuke this notion declaring they are ‘entitled’ to anything, even a mere dedication, I would retort this presumption with how they negatively impacted me.
With that out of the way. I could structure these ‘entries’ as they should be. Grammatically correct, SEO rich, chasing first page rankings. In fact, it started out that way, and some parts of this project (not specifically this site) still must be. Yet, the more I created knowing how things ‘should be’ the more disappointed I became. So, ’This’ is not about ‘that.’
This is about something else. Something I have lost and that I am trying to find again. This site, this project, these broken transmissions, they are about more. Just more.
I have chased many undertakings in my life, and I can truthfully say that I have succeeded, for the most part, in them all. Not in terms of riches, but rather accomplishments, goals, and dreams. Even when those undertakings where misguided, foolish, a ‘pipe dream’, and more often so, when they were ludicrous and fantastical.
Never underestimate the mind and the power of sheer will and determination. It can take you far.
There will always be unfulfilled wishes that a person and moreover myself will have. The ‘what ifs’, the ‘maybes’ and the ‘what could have been.’ To this end I have always tried to live my life with no regrets. Carpe diem as a prolific Robin Williams once said in a movie.
However, to regret is to be human, and with that I have made many mistakes.
So, what is this? The more pertinent question should rather be, what is ‘this’ exactly? As I said, it’s just more. I needed more, wanted more. Not in a superfluous way in terms of material objects, but rather to be fulfilled, more.
This is the beginning of that. Wherever this leads, may the cards fall where they may. This is something I must do.
The Baron